Women are the timekeepers

Photo by Stanislav

One thing I’m really good at is dragging my feet.

I have that luxury. I can wait, and I expect the world will wait with me.

When my girlfriend once asked me what my outlook for the next couple of years was, I famously responded that I don’t really think that far ahead. It’s much easier to react, to choose from the limited number of options left rather than opening the door that gets you closer to who you want to be. There’s also little pressure for men to get it together before other things start to fall into place. From family or society and certainly not my body.

But women don’t have that luxury. It has a lot do with childbearing, sure, but the patriarchy has stacked the deck in other ways, too. For one thing, they’ve historically been expected to care for a husband, father, or brother. For another, they’ve had to organize and fight for the rights that men granted themselves at the start. They don’t get to wait for life to direct them — they’ve had to be decisive and efficient in limited free time. They’ve had to actively shape their lives.

That’s why women are the timekeepers. It’s a lot of responsibility, to take charge of your own life and to spur on those around you, but we can’t all be waiting for signs.