Why a bad date's better than no date at all
I shouldn’t be writing about going on another date with my wife lest I get some of you husbands in trouble, but I unfortunately learned something that, by rule of this subscription, I’m obligated to pass on to you.
It had all the makings of a good date. The New York Public Library is hosting an exhibition in celebration of The New Yorker’s 100th anniversary. Lots of old covers and correspondence and behind-the-scenes ephemera. We planned to zip in to the city after work, spin around the exhibit for an hour, and grab something casual to eat on the way home. It did not go to plan.
We left a little later than we agreed to and got to the library at 7:15. No problem, 45 minutes to check out the goods and get our money’s worth. That’s why we went on Wednesday, after all. It’s one of the few nights they’re open past 6pm. As it turns out, in order to to flush out the many freeloaders by 8, they start shutting down sections earlier than that. At 7:30, they closed the half of the exhibit we started in. At 7:45, they closed the whole floor. Thankfully this was a hundredth date instead of a first because the first part was a little more chaotic than the usual gallery stroll, but we still got to see some really great stuff like this early sketch of a cover commemorating Toni Morrison.
On the way home we ducked in to a Mexican restaurant in our neighborhood for nachos and gossip, and even if the first part had gone to plan, this part still would have been more fun.
Nothing about the evening was remarkable except the fact that we stuck to it. Neither of us offered to cancel or reschedule or checked to see if the other was “still up for it.” No one panicked when we were running late or pouted when we were herded toward the exits (OK, I pouted a little. Apologies to that security guard for literally dragging my heels). We made a plan and we stuck to it.
Sure, we could have done housework or work work or written this letter instead of getting up this morning to do it 🥱, but we didn’t. We went on our date, left our other obligations at home, and enjoyed a little outing away from it all.
As much as this is a PSA to go on more dates, it’s also a PSA to make plans, keep your word, and see the people who make you happy. Whatever you leave behind will be there when you get back, and it won’t seem as significant then, compared to what you’ve already accomplished with whomever’s worthy of your time.