The art of growing

One shell at a time

A hermit crab makes due with a red plastic cap as a shell // Courtesy of Shawn Miller

My friend Grace told me that when hermit crabs outgrow their shells, they line up in order of size, scramble out of their old shells and hop into the next biggest one. How do they all know it’s time to size up? Probably some instinct imperceptible to us.

How do we know it’s time to size up? We don’t, but similarly, if we don’t come out of our shell, and we wait until the next time the coast is clear, we’re going to get left behind.

Sometimes we get the choice take on more. Sometimes it’s foisted upon us. Sometimes we’re the guy at the front of the line who gives up their shell without a clear next step.

Ready or not, most of these life events will require more than one size up, and rarely will we be in lockstep with those around us. The art of growing is continuing to find ways to fit together while navigating variable timelines. It’s acclimating to these different versions of ourselves that we’ll be in 5, 10, 20 years, and the different versions of the people we love.

If we’re lucky, we’ll grow together until something’s gotta give, and then we’ll start over, knowing each other all too well, and still with so much to learn.