New York Nice

The difference between being kind and nice

More recently than I care to admit I found myself looking like a tourist. I was in the middle of a somewhat busy sidewalk in Downtown Brooklyn, trying to remember what street I was supposed to turn onto next, and ambling forward while looking about 60 degrees behind me. As I drifted into oncoming pedestrian traffic I was brought back to life by someone saying, “Pay attention.”

Once I got over the embarrassment of being mistaken for a rubbernecker, I realized that, though their delivery was blunt, it wasn’t mean. They could have used a harsher tone or some choice words or brushed past me in a huff, but they got me out of their way and back on mine with a little practical advice instead.

It reminded me of one of the first times I was driving in New York and was stuck between a slow-moving scooter and a police cruiser. I asked my brother in the passenger seat if he thought there was any issue with going around the scooter if I got the chance and he told me everyone, the cops included, wanted to keep it moving just as much as I did.

New Yorkers aren’t usually described as nice, but everyone has a story about some stranger who helped them carry a stroller up the stairs or told them to zip up their bag on the subway. It’s likely no words were exchanged during the former and it’s even more likely there was a “fuckin” in front of bag with the latter, but the kind thing was accomplished, and everyone continued on their way.

It’s easy to be nice. Nice is saying have a nice day. Nice is letting things go so as not to make a fuss. It keeps up appearances, but it doesn’t get the stroller to the top of the stairs. And to live and work in tight quarters, we have to be mindful of and kind to other people. In other words, we have to pay attention.