There’s a joke about how men can go out and play 18 holes of golf and not learn one new thing about each other. “How could you not have found out if he’s still dating so-and-so?” “It didn’t come up…”
And I don’t think that’s something to be proud of, not asking important questions about hard things, but there’s a difference between a conversation that doesn’t probe and one that doesn’t have to.
These are the kinds of conversations you have with old friends you don’t see that often anymore. They’re the kind of friends who know the history and just need the update. The ones with whom you share the headlines before getting back to the conversation you’ve been having for years.
Across the great span of a life, people join the circle at various points. They all play a part in making it full, but the ones whose stories stretch back as far as yours keep you connected to all the times and places that mattered along the way, and they can do it without saying a word.